


isn’t he cute

by magicians_entrepot



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: M/M, i hate all of this and myself specifically, mechanical parts, neko, this is LITERALLY the worst thing i’ve ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 18:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicians_entrepot/pseuds/magicians_entrepot
Summary: huey creates a new look for himself behind mb staff’s back, and ocelot finds out.i hate this. don’t read this. it’s horrible i’m not a hueyfucker i promise. this was a JOKE





	isn’t he cute

**Author's Note:**

> i swear i’m a good non cursed writer on a regular basis

Huey was at his desk, fingers tapping anxiously with each passing second. It was dangerous, doing this, risking his integrity and even his safety on Mother Base by doing this. But it couldn’t be helped; it wasn’t his fault; it was all his natural curiosity.   
The headband had a small plug embedded in its back, almost invisible, just like the other product that clipped to the back of his mechanical legs. This plug was different in the sense that it required a separate wire trailing down his back, while the other product simply needed an easily tweakable wire connected to the legs. He looked behind him, around him, the dark room too intimidating for his preference. Huey, with shaking hands, plugged in the wire.   
The mechanism started _working_ . It didn’t look like the most natural thing in the world, given his limited resources, but in the dim light of his cell-slash-office they looked real enough. They were supposed to twitch and move with one’s head movements, to give the user a more realistic experience, and with the oak-brown coloring they would blend right into his ratty hair. Huey took the other mechanism, the one to go on the small of his back, and attached it, hooked it up; it whirred for a few moments before quieting down and acting out the exact behavior he hoped for. Slight twitches and movements with his legs.   
He let go, moving to the headband on the table, and, with anticipating hands, he slid the band over his hair and adjusted it on his head. Huey looked in the small mirror on his desk, a small, rodentlike smile spreading across his features.   
“ _Yes!_ ” He beamed, doing what could’ve been seen as a small fist pump. It looked amazing - the cat ears he had attached looked mighty fine, if he did say so himself, and when he angled the mirror down to around his waist, the tail matched up with his hoped appearances. Huey looked _just_ like the catgirls, no, the _nekos_ , and this technology really made him feel good. It made him look cute, at least - or simply only - in his own eyes. He dropped the mirror on the desk surface, just beside the various blueprints, spare parts and pencils; and he was reaching up to take off the headband when the door behind him opened. Huey froze.   
  
“Doctor, I got you your lunch, so eat up before-” The dreaded pause. It was Ocelot’s voice. “What. The _hell_ . Are you doing?”   
  
Huey turned around. Slowly. The wire connected to the ears started to tangle around his arm, his hands pressed to the edges of his metal desk. “Wha..What are you doing delivering my food? A-Aren’t one of your men supposed to do th-”   
  
“That’s _none_ of your business. Answer me. What the hell are those?” Ocelot dropped the tray on the floor, Huey cringing back as it hit and let out a _bang_ . The man’s gloved hand was pointed to the headband.   
  
“I-It’s nothing. I’m just.. just practicing mechanical, uh, responsiveness to human movement. So that I can.. make some specific features for y-you all, and-”   
  
“ _Lies_. I know your damn tell, Huey. How about you start saying something truthful before I force you to?”  
  
  


He obviously didn’t mean through violence, Huey had spent enough time in his torture sessions to know that much. He didn’t respond, instead just examined Ocelot’s expression, and waited.   
  
The silence seemed to stretch forever.   
  
Ocelot’s face began to color, just the lightest shades of pink, but against his pearly pale skin they were obvious. Painfully so. Huey blinked a few times, squinting, trying to think exactly  _ what _ Ocelot was planning to do, what he was thinking. That was when the man sighed.   
  
  
\---   
  
  
“I’ll let you keep the ears. And the.. tail. I won’t tell Boss and Miller about the  _ massive _ waste of resources, on something so incredibly  _ stupid _ , but I..”   
  
Huey looked confused, even from the vague outlines of his face. Ocelot was at the disadvantage, he could only see the silhouette of the man and some key features, but the rest was shrouded from him having his back to the bright lamp.   
  
After a pause, the man spoke. “I.. it’s unders..standable why you’d let me, but why? Why aren’t you going to punish me for it?”   
  
Ocelot sighed. His features set in a grim, downturned expression, a frown sticking to his face. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being selfish, or letting whatever  _ this _ is get the better of me.”   
  
“I.. didn’t know you’d also be a neko lover.”   
  
“A  _ what _ now?”   
  
“A neko is.. basically a cute girl, or, in my case, for you, cute  _ guy _ -” Ocelot groaned. “-who has cat ears, and a cat tail, and acts cutely. Like a cat. It’s absolutely sexy and, adorable, but nobody believes me. Not until you, but-”   
  
He cut him off. “I never said you were  _ sexy _ . Or  _ adorable _ .”   
  
“-but maybe.. since you see  _ something _ in me, we could make something.. work. Between us.”   
  
Ocelot’s brains felt like they were going to fizzle to nothing. “Excuse me?”   
  
“You obviously like me when I’m wearing these ears, right? When I’m all  _ dolled u _ -”   
  
“Do  _ not _ push this any farther, Huey.”   
  
“Okay, fine. But you see something in me, so maybe, if I keep these ears on and act all cute for you, you could ease up. Not be as horribly cruel, maybe even treat me like an equal.”   
  
He walked closer, hand gripping the metal chair a bit away from the desk.    
  
“You’re telling me you want me to.. have an  _ affair _ with you in exchange for me seeing you, a hypocritical, lying, sociopathic  _ bastard _ , as an equal?”

  
“Wel, geez, when you put it like that.. maybe just treat me nicer. Would that be okay?” Huey came closer, Ocelot grimacing but standing his ground. He didn’t respond. Those ears were cute, yeah, and they definitely gave those ratlike features a better, even attractive, look, but doing something as stupid as this would hurt him. Bad.    
  
“Come on, Ocelot, or, should I say  _ Adam _ -”    
  
“No. No fucking way, Emmerich.” Where had he even learned that?   
  
“Fine. I surrender. But wouldn’t you want to? Nekos are really cute, and I definitely wouldn’t turn this down.”    
  
Ocelot exhaled out his nose. This was stupid, idiotic, literally sleeping with the enemy.   
But he did it before, sure, with a different man, but he had done it.   
He grabbed the top of Huey’s tie - the bottom was  _ tucked into his pants _ , for Christ’s sake - and smashed their lips together. It was ungraceful, definitely, and Huey’s unwashed mouth tasted  _ horrible _ , but there was something in his moist, yet supple, lips, the way he slightly leaned into it, giving Ocelot a good angle, and the weird, visually unpleasant way his skull was formed that made the kiss..  _ good _ . That was, until Huey began reaching his hands out to him, began tugging at his scarf and resting on his shoulder.  _ Then _ Ocelot pulled away. He wiped his mouth, pushed Huey aside, adjusted his clothes.   
He ripped off those awful, taunting ears and tossed them to the desk, wiping his mouth with the back of a gloved hand and storming out of the room. The sound of a dazed, stunned Huey asking for another lunch followed him out. Ocelot heard the door seal shut beside him. He was making a huge mistake.


End file.
